Death of me

What’s the essence of living when life puts down barriers to stop you from moving?

What’s the essence of smiling when you spend seconds crying?
What’s the the essence of trying when pain keeps stopping you?

I’m freezing
My heart feels cold
Its suffocating in there
I feel it’s pain but i can’t help

I’m sorry i keep killing you
I’m sorry i keep entertaining hope and love
They knocked on my door, with their faces lightened up with smiles
I didn’t know i dug my pit
No, i didn’t know
Everything i saw became beautiful. I saw paradise
I wanted to experience it

They comforted me and assured me of everlasting happiness.
My night never felt complete without his arms around me
His kisses on my forehead, i can’t forget
They gave life
I counted my blessings every night
I didn’t have to look out to admire stars
I was gifted with one
Its light made my room shine like beautiful treasures
His strokes sealed and healed all my broken wounds
Each stroke had a meaning
Each touch moulded a crown on my head
What i never knew, i experienced and loved

Today my world comes crumbling down
Today my heart is breaking down
Today my world feels dark
Today my heart has marks that can never heal

I was nothing..
He looked me in the eye and whispered fool
All the strokes and kisses meant nothing
All my hopes fell down to the ground

Maybe i wasnt good enough
Maybe the dirty gravels on the ground represent my face
Maybe my body wasn’t moulded beautifully like everyone
Maybe I’m cursed
I’ld never know where i went wrong
I’ld never understand why i was shuttered without remorse

This is my story
but this isn’t the end
Maybe it never ends

©2017, L.APO

3 thoughts on “Death of me

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